Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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