A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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