i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
