nut hugger
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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