Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Houston, we have a blender
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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