You just made me feel so damn special
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
