Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
