I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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