ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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