Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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