then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
