We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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