also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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