I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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