Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
