garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
