can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
