# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
