votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
