whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
