i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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