I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize