I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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