It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
