You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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