Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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