You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize