Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
can u get pink eye on your cock?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
