She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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