dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
