New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
