Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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