i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize