Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
