Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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