i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
