is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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