? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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