I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize