He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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