just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
