alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
