Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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