Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
send nudes
from the living room?
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