Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
