You're so nebulous sometimes
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
