I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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