I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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