he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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