I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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