i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize