We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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