apparently the secret to your success is patron
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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