Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
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WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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