Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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