Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I fill condoms, not promises.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize