I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
