used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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