did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
