that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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